Thursday, October 14, 2010

Screw you CWG

Screw you Commonwealth Games
Screw you Opening Ceremony for not failing
Screw you stadia for not collapsing
Screw you Games village for being liveable

Screw you Gagan Narang
Screw all you shooters
Screw all you Bhiwani wrestlers
Screw you Prasanta for that para games medal
Screw you discus throwers

Screw all you hockey team members
Screw you Chetri for that save
Screw you Devvarman and Sania
Screw you Harminder for walking 20km
Screw you 400m relay runners

Screw you 16yr old autodriver's daughter
Screw you Ashish Kumar you gymnast
Screw you excited triple jumper
Screw all you boxers and archers
Screw you Jwala, Aparna and Kashyap
Screw you Saina for that comeback win

Screw those 38 golds
Screw those 101 medals
Screw that 2nd place finish
Screw that Best Ever Performance

Go to hell all of you
Screw you all for the good memories
And kicking off the Kalmadi public-amnesia

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Find out how RT-Desperate you are. Choose one option for each of the 4 questions below.

Q1. What is the maximum number of characters you use in a tweet?

a. I type what I want to type. TwitLonger takes care of extra letters
b. 140 characters (Duh!)
c. 140 minus length of "RT @" minus number of characters in my twitter id
d. 140 minus length of "RT @" minus number of characters in my twitter id minus length of "Ha Ha "


Q2. How do you know how many people have retweeted you?

a. I don't care whether people retweet me
b. I click on Mentions and see how many times my handle appears with my tweet
c. I sum the count of Mentions and count of new style Retweeted_By

d. var W = # of tweets under Mentions
var X = # of new style Retweeted_By
var Y = Open each old style RT and find how many times it has been new style retweeted it
var Z = Search for your tweet (without your handle) under Twitter search and see if someone copied it without your name
W + X + Y + Z is the answer


Q3. If someone replies to your tweet with a "Ha ha" but doesn't RT you, what do you do?

a. Realize the joke was good enough for a Ha Ha, but not good enough for a retweet
b. Reply to him with a "Thanks for the Ha Ha"
c. Reply to him with a "Thanks for the Ha Ha", and ask him (sounding as cool as possible) why he didn't RT you
d. Retweet his Ha ha reply, prefix it with a Thanks and postfix it with your original tweet (E.g- Thanks :) RT @SocMedCeleb @MyselfSaroja Ha Ha. RT @MyselfSaroja *Insert original tweet here*)


Q4. If you get zero RTs for a tweet, why would it be?

a. Guess nobody found it funny
b. I tweeted at the wrong time, people are sleeping in this timezone. Let me send the tweet again in a few hours
c. Maybe my tweet didnt get submitted properly, let me send it again
d. DM people and ask them if they saw your tweet
e. Send a link to the tweet to a bunch of people one-by-one
f. All of options b-e

-----------------------------------------

Score yourself a=1, b=2, c=3, d=4, e=5, f=6 points

So How-RT-Desperate-Are-You?

4-8 - You are Twaloof
9-12 - You need a daily Tweego Massage
13-16 - You are an RTemaniac
17-18 - Congrats, you are a Troll!

Thanks for playing. Now please RT this, or else I will troll you