Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Winning an argument

There was time when I could win any argument. Any. Argument.

A few years ago, an arrogant guy and I had an argument that went like this:

Guy: Ragging must be made illegal. The recent deaths should be an alarm for us to set this right.
Me: Laws will not curb ragging. We should change things at the ground level. The only way to fix the ragging deaths is to put a fine on the parents of the kids who die.
Guy: What nonsense! How will that help?
Me: Have you read War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy?
Guy: No. Why?
Me: You will understand what I mean when you do.
I gave him a condescending look and walked away the winner.

A few months later, this discussion happened with an all-knowing lady.

Lady: Obama's victory is a victory for all black men.
Me: Every second, there is a black man dying somewhere.
Lady: What's your point?
Me: Only when black men stop dying can we declare success for anti-racism
Lady: Dude, that doesn't make any sense.
Me: Have you read Leo Tolstoy's War & Peace?
Lady: Yes I have
Me: Oh. Ok, do you remember Chapter 14?
Lady: Not really. I'll have to read it again.
Me: Go read that chapter. You'll understand what I mean.
The same condescending look followed by a smirk and I walked away from her.

This has gone on like this for many years till this discussion with my good friend Alok Pal happened today:

Alok: Corruption will be completely rooted out if this new Bill is passed.
Me: No chance that a Bill will stop corruption
Alok: Oh yeah? Do you have a better solution? If you don't, stop objecting to the Bill.
Me: The only way to fix corruption at the grass-root level is Guns.
Alok: Guns?
Me: Yeah. Everyone should be given guns. If someone asks you for a bribe, we can just shoot him. Complaining and taking him to court will take ages.
Alok: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Me: Have you read Leo Tolstoy's War & Peace?
Alok: Yes I have.
Me: Do you remember Chapter 14?
Alok: Not really, but wait.
As I looked on stunned, Alok pulled his Amazon Kindle out of the bag.

And that is why I hate these stupid e-book readers. I don't win any arguments anymore.


sliceofmylyfe said...

really funny post. enjoyed reading it till the end.. ha ha.. tolstoy... ha ha...

djd said...

Ah what a post had a very bad day and this sure did cheer me up.

amarbvp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
amarbvp said...

mazza agaya yaar!!!

gabbar singh's RT sent me here

Nothingman said...

haha :D good one :)

Damned e-readers.

I've not read war and peace btw, you can still win your arguments against me:)


Rajlakshmi said...

ROFL hahaha :D maybe i should use this technique :P

Christopher Poshin David said...

A friend retweeted the link and I came here mate...Nice one!


aninosaintlife said...

Interesting. I dont think i know anyone who has read 'War and Peace'.

aninosaintlife said...

Interesting. I dont think i know anyone who has read 'War and Peace'.

Senthil said...

Thank you everyone, for reading :-)

P.S. This post was featured in Blogadda's "Best blog posts from Indian Blogs"

Vikas P Goel said...

This is the best i have read in long time, but I think Guns can't solve this, check out chapter 2 of emperor of maladies before replying.

Senthil said...

@Vikas - Well played, indeed :)

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